The Discipline of Being

I’ve never really been disciplined. Not in the way that I’ve seen others embody it. Sure, I’ve fallen into routines that seemed to serve me and those around me, but these were never born from a desire to harness the potential I know is deep within me. It was more about surviving the day-to-day grind, checking off boxes on a mental to-do list, and trying to please those I cared about. At some point, I made declarations to myself. I said, “I will do this, and I will be that.” I meant them, at least in the moment. But as time passed, it became clear that without a true commitment to follow through, those declarations were little more than whispers in the wind. 

Now, I understand that the journey of becoming who I am meant to be requires something deeper—a discipline that goes beyond mere intention. It’s a conscious decision to embrace the act of ‘being’ with intention and purpose. I’ve realized that if I want to love fully, to truly honor the people and experiences in my life, I need to cultivate this discipline. It’s daunting, yet exhilarating. 

The Complexity of Love

Love is a simple concept in theory, yet in practice, it’s a labyrinth of emotions, expectations, and unlearning. It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but what does that really mean? To love is to commit to understanding, to listening, to being present in the lives of others. Admittedly, I’ve not been very good at this. It’s an act of discipline that requires effort, vulnerability, and the willingness to embrace discomfort. It’s about peeling back the layers of my own heart and allowing myself to be seen, flaws and all. 

I’ve spent so much of my life guarding my heart, building walls that I thought would protect me from pain. Yet, in doing so, I’ve also shielded myself from the joy that true connection can bring. There’s a certain beauty in letting go of that fear, allowing myself to be raw and open. But it’s not easy. It requires discipline to step outside of my comfort zone, to extend my heart to others and trust that they will handle it with care.

Awakening the Soul

If I am to love fully, I must also awaken the pathways to my soul. This isn’t just a metaphorical journey; it’s a spiritual awakening that requires me to embrace something deep within. I believe that our souls are inherently loving, but they can become dormant, buried beneath layers of doubt, fear, and societal expectations. 

When I think of a dormant soul, I picture a beautiful flower that has yet to bloom. A rose bud before it opens. It exists, but it’s not fulfilling its purpose. The same goes for love. When we choose anger over empathy, or independence over connection, we are allowing our souls to remain in the shadows. We forget that love is not just an emotion; it’s a state of being, a way of navigating the world, and it’s intrinsically tied to our souls…our divinity.

Activating the divine within means acknowledging that I am part of something greater than myself. I am connected to others, to the universe, to love itself. This realization is both humbling and empowering. It tells me that I am not alone in my struggles, nor in my joys. The discipline to love fully requires me to recognize this connection and act upon it.

Living in the 'In-Between'

Living in the ‘in-between’ is a phrase that resonates deeply with me. It’s the space where I can acknowledge the complexities of life—where joy and sorrow coexist, where certainty dances with doubt. This is where discipline becomes even more crucial. It’s easy to love when everything is perfect, but true love is tested in the moments of uncertainty. 

In the in-between, I find myself confronted with choices that challenge my intentions. Do I reach out to a friend in need, even if it disrupts my plans? Do I take the time to listen to someone’s story, even when I’m exhausted? These moments require discipline. They call for me to be present, to choose love over convenience, and connection over isolation. 

The Practice of Discipline

To be disciplined in love means to practice it daily. It’s about making conscious choices that align with my values, even when those choices are difficult. It’s about showing up for myself and others, even when I don’t feel like it. I’ve learned that discipline doesn’t mean rigidity; rather, it’s about creating a framework that allows for growth and flexibility. 

For instance, I’ve started to incorporate small acts of love into my daily routine. It might be as simple as sending a text to check in on a friend or taking the time to listen without distraction when someone shares their thoughts (still, admittedly, one of my greatest struggles).  These small gestures may seem insignificant, but they are the building blocks of a more loving existence. They remind me that love is not just a feeling; it’s a series of actions that reflect my commitment to connecting with others.

The Faith to Become

The faith to see and be who I am meant to be is intricately tied to my discipline. I often find myself wrestling with self-doubt, questioning whether I am enough or whether my efforts will truly matter. But I’ve come to understand that this self-doubt is a part of the journey. It’s a challenge when met changing everything. It’s a signal that I am pushing beyond my comfort zone, stretching into the unknown. 

In those moments of uncertainty, I remind myself that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. What matters is that I keep moving forward, even if my steps are small. The discipline to love, to connect, and to be present in my own life is a testament to the faith I have in myself…and in love.  It’s about trusting that the path will unfold as it needs to, and that I am capable of navigating whatever comes my way.

The Interconnectedness of Souls

I can’t escape the notion that our souls are deeply interconnected. My journey towards discipline and love isn’t just about me; it’s about the ripple effect it creates in the world. When we choose to love, we inspire others to do the same. It’s a beautiful cycle that feeds into itself, creating a more compassionate and understanding world.

In moments of doubt, I remind myself that every act of love, no matter how small, contributes to this larger tapestry of existence. It’s not just about my individual journey; it’s about the collective journey we all share. We are all in this together, and that realization fuels my desire to be disciplined in my approach to love and connection.  Especially in small acts of love shared with others as I’ve come to believe they are often the foundation for to live, and love, intuitively.

Embracing the Journey

My thoughts towards discipline and love, are not about a destination but the ongoing process of becoming who I am to be.  I will stumble, and I will face challenges, but each experience will teach me something valuable. Embracing the discipline to love fully means accepting the messiness of life and the complexities of the human experience.

I am committed to being ‘soul-first’—to leading with my heart and allowing love to guide my actions. It’s not always easy, but I believe it’s worth it. The road ahead may be uncertain, but with discipline and faith…the faith to see and be, and the courage to dare…I know I can navigate it. 

Every day is a new opportunity to practice love, to connect with others, and to awaken my soul. And in that practice, I believe I will find who I am meant to be. It’s a beautiful journey, one that I am grateful to be finally be on.